Could Maura be a featured guest? Or maybe just the rest of Mixtapes?
Could Maura be a featured guest? Or maybe just the rest of Mixtapes?
Nice try, Maura!
But, yeah, of course, everyone is a possibility for a guest and I’m sure we’ll get her to be eventually! Maybe in the future we’ll do an all Mixtapes one just for the sake of exploring the history of the band as people seem genuinely interested. Stay tuned! Also, thank you for your question!
Ryan strums his guitar like he ran out of tissues after intense masturbation and is trying to flick jizz off his hand.
This is not a question but I will state this to him on the next episode. I believe it appears this way because Ryan has always refused to use a pick when masturbating intensely.
Ryan, what the hell has Tim been up to?
We answer this at the end of episode 8!
From time to time we will be publishing our thoughts on an entire album for you to read. This is the first one and it is my commentary and overall impression of this album, the final really huge release of 2013.
1. Bad guy… still boring, but somehow MORE boring when I pay attention to it. We address this song in Episode 8 of the podcast.
2. Parking lot - A skit where Eminem robs someone and then shoots himself.
3. Rhyme or Reason - Oh, a song where Eminem raps as Yoda? Great. Oh and now he is singing and also he is rapping about how he is mad at his dad for not being there for him. Also more explanation of how his success has it made it so he doesn’t have to be responsible for his lyrics or content.
4. Some Much Better - Oh good… a new song with that stupid piano and then bass hit thing that Dre used to do on all Eminem’s old songs. This one is about how he thinks some girl fucked a bunch of other rappers. It is so original. The problem is that he has such interesting rhyme schemes but he uses them for the puerile, boring bullshit 3rd grader taunts or… worse, like shit a 20 year old thinks about relationships if you relate to like… longing assed love songs when you are in your 30’s then you have problems, especially if you are writing the songs about how you’re angry because someone doesn’t like you anymore. There’s a saying that goes if you run across one asshole in a day then they are an asshole, if you keep running into assholes then you’re an asshole. Oh, and also this song is about how he’s so mad at this girl for breaking up with him he wants her to die and also that women are only good for fucking… so… Maybe that is why she left?
5. Survival - Here is the single that is on the Call of Duty: Ghosts trailer. Have you noticed that the main modern warfare games have declined in quality since MW2 and you can find a direct correlation between that and the quality of the Eminem song they used in the commercial? MW2 had Till I Collapse on it (which has Nate Dogg on the hook, RIP) and then Not Afraid on MW3 now ghosts has this song “survival” which is so boring, not even bad, just boring, everything has been said before and BY HIM and all of the songs before it were better. I like Skylar Grey as a person, she sings the hook on this, but she has no urgency and how could she have any with the awful lyrics to this hook? They are poorly written and badly done.
6. Legacy - Oh, finally another song about how he was sad when he was a kid. Hook sung by someone in a very basic one… some stuff about how he should believe in someone who is going to save him? I have no fucking clue, the lyrics only make sense if it is about god but it doesn’t appear to be? The biggest fucking problem with this ENTIRE thing is that the lyrics are actually good in this song and interesting to listen to. Overall though it’s a little bit of a boring song and things that you kind of know already and it’s a LITTLE name-droppy. Weird, a shot out to the Rawkus records crew of ‘99, that’s actually pretty cool… considering the beef he had with Cage and the High and Mighty at the time. Also I figured out that this song is written for his son? I didn’t think he had a kid? If he has another kid maybe he’ll write more lame songs about it.
7. Asshole - Oh, good a song called Asshole… It’s a song about how he is different and a villain in the rap game and how he has stood on his own… so basically every song? Also, this is the muddiest beat and production ever, it has nothing to do with the song. Skylar Grey is, as usual, good at what she does but still only working with what she is given. Eminem considers himselfAmerica’s mirror, exposing its ugly side? I don’t think he’s controversial enough or interesting enough to do that.
8. Berzerk - The single everyone has heard, Berzerk. Rick Rubin’s production is AMAZING and this is actually challenging Eminem to do something different, but ultimately it is a hollow victory.
9. Rap God - Here is “Rap God” the song everyone went crazy about a couple of weeks ago. It has good production, I dunno who made it but with all the samples it sounds a bit like Green Lantern. This is a really really interesting sounding song and it is full of a lot of references to a ton of different rappers, I’ll say this might be the best song on the album. I mean, he gets an A+ for biting HotStylz “Lookin’ Ass Nigga”.
10. Brainless - Oh goodie… another song about how he is angry because people picked on him as a kid and how he’s going to use that to become a rap bully later in life because… he is such a good rapper and that is all this is about apparently? This is a boring song and also he calls people queers and faggots, must be that demon that controls him or whatever.
11. Stronger Than I Was - Great, a song that starts out and sounds either like Bruno Mars or Nelly Furtado and has Eminem singing… so far, so bad. This song is about how someone broke up with him and he is mad and they are a bad person for making him feel bad. “If I stumble/I won’t crumble/I’ll get back up and uuuuuuuuuuuuuungh”? That’s a good finish to that lyric there, Em. Oh, the rapping part about how he wants her to just leave him alone. I like how he is so angry at her and hates her and how he doesn’t want her to think he is a chump and he doesn’t pity himself and he doesn’t care about her and then in the same breath says “It would have been our anniversary on November 31st” but she left him in May. Also, November 31st, not a day. Anyway, if someone had to go out with someone this fucking whiny and self loathing and also self aggrandizing no wonder she fucking left.
12. The Monster - Ah, the home stretch where Rihanna’s awful, passionless bullshit comes into a hook. You always have to trade out the small time star player, Skylar Grey, for a woman with a billboard for a head. This billboard is advertising how fucking boring a rapper Eminem can be when all he has to talk about is himself, there is no external anything just talk about how one time he was on Newsweek’s cover? How he is still relevant and how he overcame his addiction. Isn’t there something disingenuous about someone constantly telling you they are relevant? There is nothing relatable here no matter how much he tries, he’s not talking about pain, he’s just talking about himself. Fucking COME ON. Oh yeah, this song says people think he is crazy, no one thinks he is actually crazy. Also, for someone who writes a song about being friends with the monsters in their head it seems odd that the very first fucking track is about how a demon makes you say bad things and make people feel bad.
13. So Far… - Oh no… A song that uses former and present Eagle’s member Joe Walsh’s “Life’s Been Good To Me So Far” as the basis for its musical backbone. It’s a song about how Eminem doesn’t like his fame because it has made his life so different and he would wipe his ass and throw it at a fan in the bathroom and kind of goes through how people think he is classist and he is out of touch with technology. I dunno, who the fuck knows, I think he is trying to draw parallels between him and how he is still a redneck and acts poor even though he is rich but also mad about how he is rich? I really don’t understand the point of this song, it is disjointed at best, stupidly contradictory at worst.
14. Love Game - Hooray, a song that samples “game of love” and about how he walks into his girlfriend’s house and she is sucking another guy’s dick… I’m starting to get the feeling he is quite a jealous man and believes all his girlfriends are fucking other famous rappers or people really do just cheat on him all the time because he is both insecure and a narcissist. Oh, look, Kendrick Lamar is on this song, lets see if he does anything people can overhype for the next 3 weeks. Yup, sounds just about what I figured it would, about how he wants a girl who doesn’t want him and then if he was famous maybe she would suck his dick… So, essentially par for the course on this album. Kendrick is rather gifted, NOT AS MUCH AS THE INTERNET ACTS LIKE, and it’s sad to see him lower his game to Eminem’s current “25-year-old-on-a-testosterone-supplement” nonsense. Now Eminem is back talking about how he should kill this woman for trying to kill him but then it turns out it was just a dream and then he wakes up to her trying to kill him and blah blah blah blah fucking Christ this is boring.
15. Headlights - Yeesh… a song with Nate Ruess of fun. on the hook… about Eminem’s mom… Hey, guys, he is upset because his dad left and then he didn’t like his mom. He also doesn’t like “cleaning out my closet”. The thing is that this song isn’t even bad at all, it’s decently heartfelt and there’s some stuff in it that makes you wish it was a little earlier in the album because the rest of the album doesn’t really show up to the game, on a better album this song would have been the final track, on here it is the penultimate song and should have just been a b-side he released. Get ready to hear this fucking song EVERYWHERE in a couple of months, every single movie trailer, every radio station, Eminem and fun.? Yeah, gonna be every other song you hear soon.
16. Evil Twin - The final song on the album, eh? It seems to be about how he is ready to answer for the things he is saying and doesn’t give a fuck… Surprise? He calls Sarah Palin a slut, how current! Continuing on it is still about how crazy he is and how kids are crazy and he likes to cuss. Ugh, this is just so boring. There is a Lorena Bobbitt reference in this, I am done listening to this bullshit.
The danger in doing a sequel to the album that put you on the map is that you will, most likely, find it impossible to match the energy of a person who has not yet made it. A person on the verge is more desperate and more interested in trying something new than a person who is 15 years into their career. A 20-something-year-old artist that is evolving, attempting and failing, finding fame and fortune and becoming an addict and surrounded by the wrong people is a far more compelling character than the forced outsider. This is an Eminem playing it safe, this is a rehash and a disjointed one at that, it doesn’t follow a successful framework so much as attempts to create its own but just ends up creating what came before it albeit older and less interesting. There are messages on here from a person who has no idea how to stick to what they say, make an apology then go back on it, feel bad for “slut-shaming” do it in the next line, saying “faggot” is wrong, faggot, etc. There is a lot of chest puffing and machismo but in the end not much in the way of true content or artistry. I am an Eminem fan, I have been since before the Slim Shady LP back in the days of eBay mixtapes and horrendous photoshopped covers and this pains me to hear. Honestly, since The Eminem Show he hasn’t been that good but at least on that album he had something to prove, that he wasn’t a flash in the pan that he truly was an artist and he could be, Eminem COULD be something truly special and really bring his powers to bear in a useful and constructive way, tackle issues and speak about things in an evolved manner but he refuses to. Instead we are subject again and again to the same themes and puerile subject matter and it is just a might big overwrought and overdone at this point. That’s the problem with artistry and people like Eminem putting so much stock in other’s viewpoint of him, eventually this viewpoint is said so many times that the artist begins believing it and that belief becomes their work and that work becomes self-indulgent and boring which is what this album should have been called.